I suddenly recollected my school syllabus, wondering if the museum etiquettes are thought in the classrooms.

The obvious answer is no. teachers are not aware of the museum culture and its practises. This attitude is really bizarre in a country which has rich cultural history and heritage. Teachers are always baffled in a weird combination of mathematics and chemistry; the number of marks scored is proportionate to total percentage of their subject with reaction of this into their incentives.

Art, museums, Galleries; who cares? People have very minimal interest about something that they have to protect and foster, to pass it onto the next generation. The so called informed people with technology visit galleries and museums once in blue moon with set of scales in hand. You name it they know everything from the great Picasso to their own relative who pat clay once in a month.

I spent a few days in an exhibition of sculptures shown at the government art gallery as in charge. The display of sculptures more or less manifested into an archaeological museum arrangement.  People who visited the very famous Vidhana Soudha; less known than the great posh hi end Mahatma Gandhi Road also walked across this gallery with another technological museum standing next to it.  This visit is not driven by their interest but vital part of their paisa vasool scheme. The ever energetic bombarding kids with negligent parents who enact kings of the past who were honoured when they visited such places like in old movies were the majority of audience. 

My job in the gallery is to take good care of sculptures and ensure safety to its condition. To guarantee this I have to restrict the visitors from taking photographs and touching them. People who got my words “please don’t touch the sculptures”, “please don’t take photographs” showed grim faces at the exit door. Later these words lost its smile and vanished in the rest room as I washed my face at regular interval.

I went back with the usual two sentences to puke at the visitors. I saw a small boy rushing into the gallery running like a rage bull with his obese dad followed with his short, dark and tired mother. Like any other visitor who enters the gallery with kids, I poured the same things into their ears. “Yes of course I won’t let him do that” he replied. This must be a first of its kind, an educated family I thought after the father pulled his son’s arm and lift him above his waist to the shoulders. I was worried that arrangement of sculptures could be brought down by that giggle of the boy.

The boy and his father finally stood near the big main arrangement. Father to impress his little son, rolled his fingers across the portraits of Gangubai Hangal and Bhimsen Joshi ……………….

I became extremely furious to have seen something like that. I shouted at the father “can’t you understand? At least the small boy has little brains but you are too ridiculous to allow inside this premises. He was silent and left the gallery……………..

                                                               

                                                                                                II

There are different types of people who visit the shows. Extremely Shy women in their 40s do not attend the art exhibitions often at least with their families unless they are close to the artists. These aunts are suppressed, pathetic creatures dominated by their husband and family including kids. Women of this genre believe nothing is important but TV, Husband and kids. These women spice up their lives within daily soaps with immediate representation of the local personal history. Embarrassment is the biggest sin of their entire life for some of these conservative people. These typical ones are a little different from the father and son.

A woman came with her confused family and walked vigorously all across the pedestals of the sculptures with no clue. Accidently went too close to Mansoor’s portrait which eventually made hard sound as it plunged down the floor. I ran from the last corner to get the model back to its ground. The woman was so embarrassed and she started smiling as if a joke is waiting to be acknowledged. I picked up the sculpture and looked into it carefully to observe any possible damage. Within seconds the whole family disappeared even before I found the sculpture was in one single piece, I was relived.

                                                                                        III

Peculiar behaviour of people, particularly in boys is that they want to capture everything on camera; be it a dog sleeping in a corner or a policemen sipping a pot of tea!!

These types are a real threat to the exhibition display because these sheep can lead up to any extent just to impress their stupid yet careless girl friends!!  It is a real shame that certain place like museums and galleries are used for such practises.

They call it ‘MASS’ the eyes and hands along with their brains of MASS is not programmed for honest interest for culture and history. Going back to my school days, I wish these etiquettes were thought in our classrooms.